A little over one month!

Saturday marked my little dude's 1 month birthday. B, the baby and I got professional shots done on that day, thanks to my doula's husband. It's hard to believe it's only been one month. Time seems to be moving very slowly actually. Currently I am staying at my parents' house with the baby for the Thanksgiving holiday week. My stay started out pretty good BUT earlier tonight my mom and I got into it for some reason. She felt the need to let me know about all the things I had supposedly done wrong this past year. It didn't take long for the waterworks to come and once they were on, they didn't turn off for like an hour or so. I mean I understand that she wanted to get things off her chest and dialogue but I don't think 1 month postpartum was really the time for that. I am still getting used to motherhood and between the sleep deprivation and the breastfeeding challenges I have had, I have been an emotional rollercoaster. I cry at the drop of a hat. And not to mention that there is a shift in hormones postpartum that affect a new maman's mood of course. My mom knows all this so I don't understand why she would open up a big emotional can of worms NOW... The discussion kind of ended abruptly when she said I couldn't blame her for something and she walked out. Then like an hour later she came back and acted like nothing had happened. I fear the winter holiday because I am already usually stressed out around that time when we visit our extended family in the midwest. But now with baby in tow AND unresolved issues with mom to boot? Recipe for disaster.... But I have to go because I just told my granny today that I was coming and she is so looking forward to seeing the baby along with my godparents and my godsister. So I feel really obligated to go and of course I only see them like once a year so I feel I must go. I mean, I miss them; they are my family. I am counting my lucky stars right now because I came really close to asking my parents if I could travel with them to the midwest, i.e. same flight so that they could help me with my little one. I think that would just be asking for trouble. I am not trying to tempt fate so I am just going to suck it up and go seperately. B and I are are still trying to see if he can come; I would love for him to come since alot of my extended family have not met him and it would be great for all of us to be together during the holiday. (Note: I don't really celebrate Xmas but I recognize it as family togetherness time.) Anyway, I am going to sign off for now and try to relax before my little guy wakes up. :)