The Belly has peaked!

No I have never seen a foot stick out like that on my belly. But I have seen other things indicating lots of motion, rolls and squirms. :) I am 33 weeks today and I think my belly is as big as it's going to get. I would have thought my belly would have been monstrous by now, but apparently not. It still a pretty small belly to be 8 months along. I guess it's just my genetics. I know the baby isn't underdeveloped; he's 4 pounds and 3 ounces as of Monday. And he's head down so he's ready for takeoff! It's getting down to the wire and it's kind of crazy that we will have a little boo chilling in like 7 weeks. I have to start getting/ordering all the supplies for the homebirth. My doula is probably going to let me use her birth pool from her store just to try it out. She says she knows that I am going to have a beautiful birth. I think so too even though my mom and my grandmother have launched full on war against my homebirth. I am not really letting it get to me though. They should respect my choice, end of story. I don't plan on discussing it further with either one of them. I had a 5 minute discussion with my grandmother on saturday about it. Boy did she bring the drama! "Your mom told me some disturbing news..." Save it for the stage Granny! Anyway, I haven't heard from her since. I think when I brought up the whole water birth thing, that just pushed her over the edge. My mom knew what she was doing when she told my grandmother. I wasn't even going to tell my grandmother because I knew she would panic and worry herself sick. So my mom launched the sneak attack by tipping her off, knowing damn well she would call me and bring the drama. Unfortunately for my mom, that little stunt is definitely not enough to dissuade me from my planned homebirth. It will go ahead as planned. B and I love our midwife; she is a real sweetie and she keeps it real. I love her nurturing/bossy side too. I was cracking up when she schooled B about how it wasn't just me having the baby, but "we" who were having the baby, hence his attendance during my prenatal exam was mandatory. You should have seen his face, so classic!

Dealing with those who follow the techno-medical model

I am realizing more and more that people in the United States have been completely brainwashed by the techno-medical model of maternity care which has existed for less than 200 years. Did you know that the whole laying back with your legs spread to have the baby is fairly new in the history of the world. People want to know what the big deal is. Why are some people so upset with the hospital model of maternity care? Because it is not focused on the health of the mother and the baby. It's all about economics. Around the turn of the century, the medical community launched a smear campaign against midwives because they wanted women to start having their babies in the hospital. The hospital model of care is very male centered. It's about a patriarchal system telling women that their bodies are naturally incapable of giving birth. It's about stripping the power from women when in fact women have been supporting other women in the beautiful life event that is the birth of a child since the beginning of time. People think that technology has to be part of it. In the techno-medical model of maternity care, pregnancy is classified as a disease and childbirth is a medical emergency. In the midwifery model of care, pregnancy and childbirth is not something that just happens to women; birth is what women do and have done for years. Midwives assume that a woman's body is built for and is capable of delivering a baby naturally and normally. And if you look at the statistics, homebirths that end up in hospital transfer are very low and the amount of infant mortality in homebirths versus hospital births are even lower. Did you know that out of the 23 richest nations in the world, the US is NUMBER ONE in infant mortality??? And apparently Memphis has the highest rate of infant mortality in the US. A baby dies there every 43 hours. I mean that is similar to developing world statistics. And there are so many families who can not afford to bury their deceased infants so the health department has to do mass burials of these babies in a potter's field also referred to as "Babyland". If the US maternity care is working so well, than why are things like this happening in 2008???

"When we give the mother drugs to help her deal with pain, we destroy these natural coping hormones and more importantly, the baby now has no pain-relieving hormones available. The drugs for inducing labor, for pain and anesthesia all go to the baby and eventually interfere, sometimes in a big ways, with how easy it will be for the baby to be born and attach to a breast"- Waterbirth: The Heart and Soul of Gentle Birth, Barbara Harper

To me if you are a low risk pregnancy with no serious preexisting health conditions, choosing medical intervention is pretty selfish. You are putting your baby at risk. Of course emergencies come up and I am glad that in these cases the innovations are available. But when a woman is just left to labor naturally with really good support from her partners, midwives, doulas, family, etc...the outcome is normally fine if not great. Our society has turned childbirth into a medical event. There is nothing emotional or holistic about being stuck on a bed during labor and birth because you can't move around with your epidural. Or being so wacked out by narcotics that you don't even know what's going on while your baby is being born. I don't know if I am going to have anymore children so for me, I am treating this birth like it is the first and last. People act like natural birth means that you just take the pain. That's not it at all. There are so many non-narcotic ways of coping with labor pain: massage, water therapy, different positions, breathing techniques, meditation, acupuncture, visualization, etc... These things don't have possible side effects. People are just not educated. We tell pregnant women not to take drugs or alcohol during their pregnancy YET it is totally acceptable to take strong narcotics during labor that pass right through the placenta directly to the baby. Epidurals pretty much paralyze you from the waist down. Often you don't even feel the urge to push or pee for that matter. Of course if a woman is in a hospital bed in the throes of labor and she is given the option of epidural to the numb the pain or just taking the pain, she is going to choose an epidural. She is not being given any alternative options. And one medical intervention in labor usually leads to another, which can snowball into the mother of all intervention, cesarean section. The rate of c-sections in the US is sky high. It's really a shame. But sometimes I think ignorance is a choice. I did not just wake up knowing what all my childbirth options were; it's been a journey of education that I gladly took not just for my sake, but for the sake of my child. I think the love of your unborn baby is universal across race, class and religion.

Maday! Maday! Maday! Meltdown Imminent!

I am not even back at the office yet and I am already in panic mode. I get like this every so often when I am feeling overwhelmed. I am just reminding myself that every time I panic about some sort of task, work or school related, I always ended up successfully completing it. My adrenaline just starts pumping overtime and I start panicking about things. Hence why I am up on a Sunday morning at 6 typing in my office. I am pretty much worn out and anything that requires that I leave the house today is pretty much the bane of my existence. I have a childbirth preparation class in like 4 hours which I WAS looking forward to but after yesterday in the Bronx at the zoo race walking to every exhibit, I feel DRAINED! And to make matters worse, once we got back from the Bronx, we had to go grocery shopping for dinner. I started having a meltdown in the street when we had done most of the shopping and then arrived at the fish market only to see it closing. So I was cranky because I was looking forward to some fried red or yellow snapper. I was really like yelling in the street. Dinner for me lacked protein significantly unfortunately. boooooooooooooooooo! Seriously, last night was like pregnant lady on the brink of insanity. I think the next couple of months are going to be work, home, sleep, repeat. Except for a possible trip to Fort Tyron Park for a picnic. It's so beautiful up there, I really want to spend the day there at least once before the baby comes. Yeah he is still "the baby" or Bojangles, another point of stress. We don't have a name. And we also are still battling it out over the circumcision issue. I also don't have a pediatrician yet... Oh boy, SOS! SOS! Let me not step onto this slippery slope. I don't want to sit here and ponder all the things that I am nervous/anxious about. Interestingly enough the actual birth is not even on that list. I am pretty zen about that. Okay, time for a little juice. Later people.

First Meeting with the Homebirth Midwife

Today was my first appointment with my home birth midwife. It was great although there were some hairy moments. For example, there is some confusion about my due date so she actually has someone as her back up midwife just in case I go into labor while she is out of town. I will be meeting with the other midwife sometime soon. Other than that everything went just fine. It was kind of cool to have a prenatal exam in the comfort of my own home. No waiting around in a medical office. It felt cool to just hang out in the house while I waited for the midwife to arrive. Now I understand the appeal of a home birth. All the creature comforts so close to you. I definitely know now that I would not want a hospital birth. I can't imagine laboring in a random hospital room. I am feeling really good about laboring with just me, B, the midwife and my doula. I told my mom that I am doing a home birth and she was less than enthused. But she accepts my decision although she did say that she would prefer that I NOT do it. It's going to be so nice just eating and drinking whenever I want to during labor, having the baby(possibly in water) and then falling asleep in my own bed with the baby on my chest. :) Okay I am kind of tired so I will check back another time.

Pregnant Lady versus the Statue of Liberty

So after a meal, two glasses of edensoy milk and a LONG nap, I finally feel like my old self again. As I said in my previous post, today's NYC tourist mission was the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. Everything was going pretty well from the beginning. Because we had the City Pass ticket, we got in a special line for reserved tickets that was WAY shorter than the regular line. We were on the ferry in probably less than 30 minutes. I was very happy about that. Once we got to Liberty Island, I felt okay with minimal sea sickness. After wandering around the island for a bit, we went into the museum store which was housed under a white tent. That's when things started to get UGLY. The tent was really hot despite the two industrial sized fans. They just blew hot air around really. It was not really that hot outside but inside the tent, it was stuffy and probably like 10 degrees warmer. So I started to feel bad but then I felt okay when we went to the refreshments building and were in the air conditioning for a bit. But then we went BACK to the tent and I could barely stand to be in there for 5 minutes. I went outside to catch a breeze but the sun was beating down on my head so much, I headed for some chairs underneath the shade of some trees. I felt a little better once I sat down but the dizziness would not go away. I think if I had stayed in the tent for any longer I would have passed out, or "fell in the apples" as they say in french. It was then and there when I decided for sure that I was going to have to cut the day short and head home after Ellis Island. I told my friend that she could hang out in Manhattan and that I would give her my cell phone in case of emergency. So she is still out and about as I type this. Which is cool, she has been checking in via cell phone so I don't feel totally in the dark about how she is doing. And I bet it is probably easier to explore without my pregnant behind there. I mean shoooooot... I will be 8 months a week from today; I knew at some point I was going to have to slow down the NYC tourist stuff during my friend's stay. I held on strong for a week but now I need a few easy days. It felt SO good to be in bed before 11pm. I took a nap probably around 7:30 or so. I don't even know, I didn't look at the time before I fell asleep. It also felt great not to be aware of the time; I am constantly on a watch clock with my friend to make sure we get places on time, before they close. So it felt nice to leisurely just kick it in front the television with a plate of salad and soy milk on the side. Okay my back is starting to hurt from typing in this position so I bid you adieu! Until the next time!

It's been a minute-Staycation

For those of you who don't know, a friend of mine from Martinique came into town last Wednesday so I have been busy running around NYC showing her the sites. We have been doing a lot of stuff which is cool since this is my "staycation". I am still mourning my trip to Colombia that was planned for last month but you know being pregnant and all, I couldn't really justify the health risk or the cost. So I will have to postpone my spanish immersion course for another time. I know that Colombia (as far as I know) will always be there and even though some things aren't exactly planned, they are part of a "bigger" plan that we can not always understand. I am going to try to come home earlier than I have been these days and write up an official blog entry. In the meantime please peruse some photos from Sunday's Urban Arts Festival in Clinton Hill, sponsored by BAM and Afro-Punk. ENJOY!







Sorry that last one is sideways, my friend's camera doesn't put them right side up when taking vertical pics I guess. weird... Right now we are getting ready to go to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, probably my least favorite touristy sites in the NYC area. I am REALLY not looking forward to visiting this tourist trap but oh well, that's what friends are for, right? LOL! I am kinda sorta going to slow it down after today's activities. I am pulling the pregnant lady card. Walking all over NYC can wear a sister out. I swear the baby is getting a workout and is pretty much taking all of my food. I think everything I eat is going directly to the baby because I haven't put on a pound in like 2 weeks. Which is cool because I was afraid that once I crossed over into the 3rd trimester, I was going to EXPLODE! I am trying to look cute for the baby shower, not bloated! Anyway, let me sign off so I can face my destiny with this freaking Statue of Liberty cruise bullshit!!! At least after today, I know the worst tourist stuff is over, we did the Empire State building the second day my friend was here; it doesn't get any worse than THAT! Guggenheim museum and random shopping is not that bad at all. Later people!

Pregnant Fat Days

Ug...pregnancy is definitely putting me through the wringer in terms of body image. I swear my mother almost feels smug about me being pregnant because of course my body is changing and I am definitely softer than usually despite my regular gym attendance. It's just part of nature's plan. I was telling my best friend about my mom's whole attitude today. I told her that my mother is secretly laughing at me because her whole plan is that she be the sexy mom while I am the frumpy daughter who is carrying around weight from her pregnancy. When I told my mom that in a few months I would be working on the extra 10-15 pounds that would be laying around, she told me I was delusional for thinking it would be just an extra 10 or 15. I was like "Um WHAT?" I will be 30 weeks tomorrow and to date I have only gained 13 pounds. I am thinking that my weight will probably top off at 20 pounds but if it hits 25 pounds, that would still be within range for me according to my pre-pregnancy BMI. Normally new moms lose about 12.5-14 pounds after the birth. So even if I hit 25 pounds, I would not have more than 12.5 pounds left to lose postpartum. I also plan on breastfeeding and easing back into the gym with walking on the treadmill and the elliptical a week or so after the birth. Eventually I want to start running again and do a 5k in February. I just feel really vulnerable right now, I tell myself "well at least your face does not look fat". My mother says I look fat, B says I look like I am pretty much "all belly". I don't know who to believe... My downstairs neighbor said I look great, like one of those "sexy pregnant women". LOL. I just worry everyday, I don't want to be one of those women who just let themselves go after the baby and end up putting on MORE weight once the baby is born. I guess one of my biggest fears is losing control over my weight since for the past 2 years or so I have been really good about my weight and even have achieved new levels in terms of fitness. I was about 4 months into a new, intense fitness regime when I found out I was pregnant. It made sense because my body was looking more fit and toned everywhere except the belly. And my results were happening REALLY slow. I thought I could diet harder, workout harder, do more intervals or go back on a raw food vegan diet or do mostly green juices and the results would come. But alas, the Universe had other plans for me. :) It's still really hard though, as someone who has dealt with body image issues since 12 years old to just relax and let nature do what it has to do. I was appalled last week when I was on the treadmill and I discovered that running was no longer comfortable. Le sigh... Elliptical still feels fine and I have been doing my weight training twice a week theses days, three times a week was draining my energy. Since I am on vacation, I have been going to the aquatic exercise class in the morning the past 2 days. It's me and lots of elderly women and obese women. It's a great form of low impact exercise so I understand why the class demographic is what it is. And we use water weights so I definitely feel the burn. The key is to keep the weights well under the water and that's when you feel that burn and intensity. For now, I just keep telling myself that the fact that I am remaining active throughout this pregnancy will help my postpartum fitness/anti-fatness cause. I secretly want to be one of those moms who emerge 2 months after childbirth, slim and sexy. A girl can dream, can't she?

Interview Process with Homebirth Midwives

I am currently well into the process of interviewing homebirth midwives. So far B and I have interviewed 2 and we have one more interview on Monday. Between you and me, the one we interviewed yesterday is our pick, hands down. She is the midwife my doula used and my doula just raves about her. In fact the midwife and the doula rave about each other! We just sensed more of a spiritual and emotional vibe from the 2nd midwife, which we like. B has been really stepping up to the plate in regards to the whole homebirth thing. He made a long list of questions to ask the midwives. I was like "Okay you can run the show! I have pregnancy brain!" LOL! I can't believe we are planning a homebirth; it seems so surreal. I actually really want a waterbirth but we will see how that works out. My doula is the only person I know who has had a homebirth so this is pretty new to both me and B. I know B's family and my family are going to be like "Say what?" when we tell them about our plans. It should be interesting. I think yesterday I was dehydrated or something because this morning I drank like 32 ounces of water in a matter of 20 minutes. It was pretty humid outside yesterday and I did go to the gym but I had a bottle of gatorade with me. I can't workout with weights without some sort of sports drink these days or I feel weak. I am SO excited to be going on vacation! August is really going to be a vacation month for me since it looks like I will be on vacation more days than I will actually work. I need it though! I am almost 7 and a half months and this back pain is no joke! And rush hour subway rides get on my last nerves, especially the evening commute. But people have actually been giving up their seats happily as of late. My bump is undeniable at this point and apparently some people would prefer not to see a pregnant lady suffer through the evils of mass transit. :) The other day when B and I had just finished interviewing with a midwife, we had planned to walk home but my bladder had other plans. We had to end up catching a bus for an embarrassingly short walk home. But I just couldn't take it! I had to get home and FAST! Me and my Snoogle slept pretty well last night although I have to switch positions several times a night. Hopefully I will be able to post some recent pics of my bumpalicious tummy soon!