Balancing Act

So everyday I drop my little one off at the in-home care provider, I am torn. I want to be at home with him so bad but I need to work to support our family. I have been researching different opportunities and seems that the only solid and reliable job opportunities out there for stay at home moms are medical transcription positions. But that requires a training course that costs about 2,000 dollars. I could use my tax return refund for it but I don't know if I it would be prudent to blow it all on a training course in these economic times. I mean I would be investing in me and my family's future and the healthcare industry is always growing. It's a pretty recession proof job too; people (unfortunately) will always be sick and need care. Part of me thinks this is a great opportunity but than the other part of me is like "Dude, you've got a bachelor's degree and a master's degree! Are you crazy!" Motherhood sure is a balancing act. I mean just yesterday I got an initial phone screening interview for a position that I would LOVE to get. It would mean traveling up to 30% of the time though. International traveling. I want to find a career that I love but I also want to be there for my dear baby. Decisions, decisions. I want it all, you know? I don't think it's fair that in our society it's like I am being forced to make a decision about what will be my priority. My family will always be my priority but I also want to thrive as an individual in the world too. And having a steady salary and benefits are so important in this day and age. Part of me wishes I lived in Europe where healthcare is universal and people are expected and encouraged to take long vacations in the summer; in France it's normally 6 weeks!!! They really savor the idea of "working to live" rather than "living to work" which is all too familiar here in the United States. I am definitely a work to live type person. I rush home at the end of the day and savor the time with B and the baby. And I live weekend to weekend. It's always a sad time for me on Sunday evening when I know I have to face another week of work. Work is fine but I have such a wanderlust; I rather be living it up somewhere far, far away much closer to the equator. But alas, that is not my reality nor do I anticipate it to be any time in the near future. At this point I am just hoping to find a job that is salaried with benefits. If said job would also let me work from home a couple of days a week and give me at least 22 vacation days a year, that would be even better. Or better yet, how about someone just pay me a stipend every month just for living and breathing... Like 3,000 bucks a month or something. Yeah let me wake up from my dream of being a trust fund kid! LOL! Anyway, back to the daily grind. :)

Life With Babe

It's hard to believe my little one is almost 4 months now! It seems like only yesterday that I was a week overdue and wondering when the chocolate bun was going to finally come out. Sometime I just look at him and I am amazed that I carried him in my belly for 41 weeks! He's getting so big! He must be like 14 pounds now. And somehow it's getting easier and easier for me to tote him around town in my Moby Wrap. This kid is definitely an urban baby. Last night he slept pretty well; lately he's been fussing and wiggling a lot at night. My parents came to visit him on saturday and that was fun. My mom was so enthused to see him that she scared him! LOL! He kept crying with her but was totally chill with my laid back dad. She was annoyed! She can't wait to start keeping him overnight. We both agreed when he starts eating solids (at 6 months, end of April) that she can take him for the weekend. She will probably do every other weekend. We'll see. That's great news for me and B because we obviously never have time for ourselves. I can't wait to go out to eat, just the two of us. Go out and have a glass of wine and hang out in a lounge. We are still young but since the baby was born, we act like two old people, going to bed really early and staying in the house a lot. The weather is going to be nice this weekend so I definitely want to go to the park or something with the young babe.
We miss cuddling in the bed since our little guy sleeps in between us. We try to put him in his bassinet to no avail. He just feels comfortable sleeping with his parents. I totally understand but it would be nice maybe once a week if he stayed in the bassinet. Sometimes we can get him to start out the night there but when he starts crying in the middle of the night, he ends up back in the bed with us where he quickly falls back asleep.
Tonight me and B are going out to eat with baby in tow. I don't know why B is so weirded out about bringing a baby to a restaurant. Parents need to eat too! I have already taken the little one out to eat twice, the first time he was only 2 months old and he was fine. Second time was a little over a month ago and again, no incident. Plus we are going at the 6 o'clock hour so it won't be crowded at all. It will definitely be interesting when the little one gets old enough to actually eat when we go out! A little less than two months until he starts solids. I plan on making my own baby food and using organic jar food as a backup. My mom already told me "I'm not making any food." Um okay...I figured I would just send him with some already made food and some jars for backup. Anyway, that's all for now! Thank you to the 3 people who actually follow this blog. I appreciate your readership! :)