Balancing Act

So everyday I drop my little one off at the in-home care provider, I am torn. I want to be at home with him so bad but I need to work to support our family. I have been researching different opportunities and seems that the only solid and reliable job opportunities out there for stay at home moms are medical transcription positions. But that requires a training course that costs about 2,000 dollars. I could use my tax return refund for it but I don't know if I it would be prudent to blow it all on a training course in these economic times. I mean I would be investing in me and my family's future and the healthcare industry is always growing. It's a pretty recession proof job too; people (unfortunately) will always be sick and need care. Part of me thinks this is a great opportunity but than the other part of me is like "Dude, you've got a bachelor's degree and a master's degree! Are you crazy!" Motherhood sure is a balancing act. I mean just yesterday I got an initial phone screening interview for a position that I would LOVE to get. It would mean traveling up to 30% of the time though. International traveling. I want to find a career that I love but I also want to be there for my dear baby. Decisions, decisions. I want it all, you know? I don't think it's fair that in our society it's like I am being forced to make a decision about what will be my priority. My family will always be my priority but I also want to thrive as an individual in the world too. And having a steady salary and benefits are so important in this day and age. Part of me wishes I lived in Europe where healthcare is universal and people are expected and encouraged to take long vacations in the summer; in France it's normally 6 weeks!!! They really savor the idea of "working to live" rather than "living to work" which is all too familiar here in the United States. I am definitely a work to live type person. I rush home at the end of the day and savor the time with B and the baby. And I live weekend to weekend. It's always a sad time for me on Sunday evening when I know I have to face another week of work. Work is fine but I have such a wanderlust; I rather be living it up somewhere far, far away much closer to the equator. But alas, that is not my reality nor do I anticipate it to be any time in the near future. At this point I am just hoping to find a job that is salaried with benefits. If said job would also let me work from home a couple of days a week and give me at least 22 vacation days a year, that would be even better. Or better yet, how about someone just pay me a stipend every month just for living and breathing... Like 3,000 bucks a month or something. Yeah let me wake up from my dream of being a trust fund kid! LOL! Anyway, back to the daily grind. :)