A little over one month!

Saturday marked my little dude's 1 month birthday. B, the baby and I got professional shots done on that day, thanks to my doula's husband. It's hard to believe it's only been one month. Time seems to be moving very slowly actually. Currently I am staying at my parents' house with the baby for the Thanksgiving holiday week. My stay started out pretty good BUT earlier tonight my mom and I got into it for some reason. She felt the need to let me know about all the things I had supposedly done wrong this past year. It didn't take long for the waterworks to come and once they were on, they didn't turn off for like an hour or so. I mean I understand that she wanted to get things off her chest and dialogue but I don't think 1 month postpartum was really the time for that. I am still getting used to motherhood and between the sleep deprivation and the breastfeeding challenges I have had, I have been an emotional rollercoaster. I cry at the drop of a hat. And not to mention that there is a shift in hormones postpartum that affect a new maman's mood of course. My mom knows all this so I don't understand why she would open up a big emotional can of worms NOW... The discussion kind of ended abruptly when she said I couldn't blame her for something and she walked out. Then like an hour later she came back and acted like nothing had happened. I fear the winter holiday because I am already usually stressed out around that time when we visit our extended family in the midwest. But now with baby in tow AND unresolved issues with mom to boot? Recipe for disaster.... But I have to go because I just told my granny today that I was coming and she is so looking forward to seeing the baby along with my godparents and my godsister. So I feel really obligated to go and of course I only see them like once a year so I feel I must go. I mean, I miss them; they are my family. I am counting my lucky stars right now because I came really close to asking my parents if I could travel with them to the midwest, i.e. same flight so that they could help me with my little one. I think that would just be asking for trouble. I am not trying to tempt fate so I am just going to suck it up and go seperately. B and I are are still trying to see if he can come; I would love for him to come since alot of my extended family have not met him and it would be great for all of us to be together during the holiday. (Note: I don't really celebrate Xmas but I recognize it as family togetherness time.) Anyway, I am going to sign off for now and try to relax before my little guy wakes up. :)

3 and a half weeks later...

So I FINALLY have a moment to blog again. Motherhood has been quite the adventure so far. The few moments I have gotten for myself while the little one sleeps have been golden. But so far, I feel okay. Maybe a little overwhelmed and weepy but no depression. Sometimes while the baby is sleeping, I just look at him and I am amazed that I carried him in my belly for 10 months. And 5 of those months I didn't even know he was in there! LOL! Hence this blog. But I digress...He has such a personality. He is so strong and feisty! And he loves being held, like most babies. He is growing everyday; he was such a little guy when he was born, barely 6 pounds. We actually suspect that he was less than 6 pounds and the scale was off but we know for a fact that he was 6 pounds at his 1 week doctor's appointment. So many milestones in such little time...umbilical cord falling off, first checkup, first bath, first diaper change... He will be 1 month next week, I can't believe it. My body is feeling better and better everyday. The end of the pregnancy was so intense for my body. It feels so good going to the bathroom now...LOL! These are things most people take for granted. My worst physical complaint these days is probably sore nipples/breasts and a soft body. I am actually okay with my stomach, it's soft but it's pretty much shrunk down. Now I just need to start working out to get rid of these last 9 pounds of pregnancy weight and then some. I started out about 8 pounds over my personal ideal so I am ready to kick my butt in gear. I am equipped with a Pilates DVD, the couch to 5k program, my almost new sneakers and a brand spanking new ipod. I am eager to have an even better body than I did pre-pregnancy. I need to tone and tighten it up. I know it is going to be challenging but after giving birth naturally with no drugs I feel like I can acheive anything! I am even getting pretty good at one handed typing! haha! Who knew having breakfast, taking a shower, going to the bathroom or even checking e-mail would be such a challenge with a new baby???!!! Now if I could just get the hang of the baby wrap, I could get more things done!