Ready to Blow!

These photos were taken the day before Labor day. At this point I am in the home stretch of the pregnancy. You know you are in the homestretch when you ask your husband to take the baby out, LOL! Of course, I want the baby to come on or around October 15th as anticipated. I have so much shit to get together in these last weeks; it's crazy how overwhelming it can be. I will be working up until I go into labor. That's pretty intense but I have a lot of stuff that has to be done before I take my leave so I am really trying to get everything squared away sooner rather than later. My mom wants me and the baby to go stay with them 2 weeks after he's born. I told her that we would see because who knows how I will feel. I mean sheesh, 2 week old baby, I am not sure if I am going to feel like changing locations at that point. And meanwhile I just feel like a stuffed christmas pig, ready for slaughter. And I can feel the pressure in my cervix building. Sometimes walking is even a chore. I have been taking the bus more and more when I am in Brooklyn, 8 blocks to the subway station after work has become difficult, especially if I pick up some groceries. It does not help that my back hurts and I change positions all throughout the night. Yes indeed, it will feel really good to have my body back. Pregnancy is cool and all but the changes in the body can be so dramatic. I want to feel sporty again; I hate feeling exhausted after climbing a flight of stairs. I much rather be jogging with the baby in tow enjoying the ride than feeling my belly bouncing along as stroll down the boulevard. And let me tell you right now, this little guy, Bojangles aka BPW, is an active fellow. The stuff I see and feel him doing inside my belly would have received gold in gymnastic floor exercise at this summer's Olympic games! I swear he twists, turns, swivels and sticks his little elbows out all day long and especially at night. I was like "Damn son! I am trying to watch Lord of the Rings:Return of the King and you got my cervix straight trippin' right now!" I wonder how much he weighs now. At my sonogram to confirm his position, he was allegedly 4 pounds and 3 ounces, but we all know that sonogram estimates can be WAY off so I am not putting my money on that. He must be like 5 pounds by now. As long as he's in the 6 pound to 8 pound range, I am cool. I don't want an underweight baby nor do I want a little 10 pound monster! That's a whole lotta baby to push! Wednesday I will be 35 weeks! Craziness! I am so curious about what this little bugger is going to look like. I want him to look like the boy version of me, but who knows what he will look like. He may look like a grandparent or even great grandparent. And I wonder what my labor will be like. My doula says she knows I am going to have a beautiful birth. That is my meditation and mantra. I also know that just like a penis, my vagina can grow large to accommodate the baby and then shrink right back down to its original size. Penises don't stay stretched out of shape after erections; why is there so much mythology surrounded around the size and capabilities of the woman's anatomy, i.e. the vagina and pelvis. I plan on having an ecstatic or even orgasmic birth. I know some people don't think it's possible but I really believe in it. Think of it this way, it's uncomfortable for anything to enter the vagina if the vagina is not engorged with the proper blood flow from arousal. Trying to push a baby forcefully without proper preparation to the cervix will of course cause problems including tearing, burning and discomfort. It's very logical but women following the techno-medical model of maternity care really don't trust their bodies so they allow these doctors to cut them, episiotomy, making a large incision, sometimes vagina to asshole. And trust, that shit hurts! And the recovery is ALOT longer and more painful than even a really bad tear. Here is nice way of visualizing it: take a piece of paper and tear it in half; take another piece of paper and cut it in half with scissors. Now which is easier to match back the pieces? Now imagine it being human tissue... Yeah cringe worthy but necessary in understanding the folly of it all. Ok this little piggy(yeah I feel like a piggy!) is ready to call it a day on the blog. Hurricane Hanna has got me feeling lethargic!
peace!